Creative Dog Grooming. (What Fresh Hell is this?) August 24, 2017 19:00


Just back from the groomers, dogs clipped and scented, anal glands cleared, nails clipped, job’s a good ‘un. Then something catches my ear on the radio about whether dogs laugh at other dogs because of their particular fur cut. Eh? Surely some mistake? They go on to discuss whether a dog with a particular cut might feel humiliated. I glance at my freshly bathed and neat dogs. This is making no sense, and then I hear the words “creative cutting” and “artistic interpretation”. Tea gets spluttered over the formerly fresh dogs as the reality of what I am hearing sinks in. “No, my dog isn’t humiliated, he really likes the attention he gets,” states Barbara from Barnes. (Name changed to protect the frankly, bonkers lady involved). “I don’t go the whole hog, or rather dog, just some rainbow colours here and there.” Dog featured below is not Barbara's dog, but another example of this rather alarming trend.

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Wham, straight onto the computer and furiously googling “Creative Dog Grooming”. I think you can regard this as my gift to you that the most outrageous pictures are all tightly copywrited and I could not share them. It is just mind blowing, staggering, horrifying. These are mere tame examples.

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Entries for the Pet Stylist Super Show in Tennessee included an Elvis, a poodle with dyed mop of brown hair fluffed on top and side burns, sporting a white bejeweled suit. Then there was a member of the Queen’s court from Alice in Wonderland. This poodle was red, black and white with playing card symbols dotted all over. Apparently the ‘stylists’ use non-toxic dyes, blow pens, and coloured hairspray to achieve the look. One little lady was a zebra, and others racehorses, there was even Dolly Parton’s coat of many colours. Deep coats were sculpted into anything from dinosaurs to fairies.

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So, can dogs feel humiliated? Can they look at a fellow dog with a raised brow? Answers on a postcard please. At least here in the UK such madness is surely rare? I mean really rare? On my next shopping trip I see a miniature poodle with pink ears. Something wicked this way comes. 

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