Ripley's Tail - A plan so cunning March 22, 2021 09:21 2 Comments
Dog Date: 21st March 2021
General Sitch: Groomed
Specific Sitch: A bit cold around the doggy bits and pieces
I am part Cairn Terrier, part glorious personification of all that is well in this world. This is my tail.
So we got groomed and I must say thank you to Mummy-my-Mummy-xxx ™ and Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx ™, although I do it here rather than to their face - can’t have them getting above themselves. You will recall that grooming has been an issue for me. As a redhead my hair follicley things are larger and it hurts when I am being hand-stripped (don’t let it put you off people, it’s just redheads) - so much so that I kick off and there are WORDS. So my Mum and Dad decided that from now on I will be clipped. It took hardly any time and I didn’t bite anyone! Momma Rita says that my real sister Fizz is exactly the same but she is going to still be hand-stripped because she is a show dog.
Anyhow, my nether regions are now cold. My minion Beetle got his first stripping and was fine. So now we look a bit different to each other.
On the subject of the minion I can report that his humpy-humpy attempts have calmed down a bit since I started to ever-so-gently-and-with-love bite his face every time he tried it on. He needs to learn and maybe is doing so. He is looking rather handsome at the moment. Now he is telling me that he wants to do a guest blog one month - what do you think? I have told him that when he can talk properly, we can discuss writing. As he is still little he can’t pronounce Ripley properly yet and spends most days following me around shouting “Wipwee - Wipwee - Wipwee”. Pffft.
Let’s talk world domination. I have a cunning plan to take over the world that involves the bed. I sleep on the bed with Mummy-my-Mummy-xxx ™ and Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx ™. The kid-minion still sleeps downstairs in his cage. I started at the bottom of the bed but am working my way to the top during the night, at which point I will be in a position to dominate the entire dogiverse. At first I aimed for humin knee height, then I inserted my self at human chest height. Next it was shoulder height. There was a brief setback when Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx ™ awoke one early morning with my nose in his ear. “Gerroff” he said and other WORDS. This week (without the aid of German Sherpas) I ascended the summit. Mummy-my-Mummy-xxx ™ wondered why her head was warm. ’Twas because I was on the pillow above her head. Go Ripley! I think it will take themselves a while before they accept that I am the boss, but we are getting there.
Right, I am off to chase Beetle around the garden until he lies on his back and surrenders. Upwards and sideways…
charge-charge, chase-chase, trample-trample, and breathe
p.s. please hashtag #ripleystail if commenting.