Ripley's Tail - Big Dogs and Zoomies August 4, 2020 10:34
Dog Date: 4th August 2020
General Sitch: Calm but manic
Specific Sitch: being a good girl, interspersed with being really naughty, chasing frogs out of the pond, popping footballs and hiding in the undergrowth and refusing to come out.
I am part Cairn Terrier, part ruler of the universe. Watch me do zoomies. This is my tail.
As befits being the ultimate ruler of the universe in this day and age, I have to face some challenges to my authority as the youngsters have so little respect. I speak of course of the abomination that is the dog in our village known as Ozzie (or Oscar, or Orifice, or something like that). I am not actually sure if he is a dog or a pony he is so big. They tell me that he is 1/4 Giant Poodle and 3/4 Newfoundland. He does not have a brain, he does not have a sense of direction, he definitely has no manners and I think he likes me.
Ozzie is owned by a wee Scottish man who has no ability to control him. When he sees me he does pull the lead out of the man’s hands and run down the road to see me. This is done in a zig-zag fashion, dodging traffic and ignoring all WORDS from the man and Daddy-my-daddy-xxx ™.
Am I scared when runs at me? No of course not for I am Cairn. The problem is that we are all worried that he will jump on me and squish me flat. A conservative estimate is that he is 16 feet high and weighs 237 metric tonnes, although admittedly that is from my perspective.
What is a girl/ruler of the universe to do? I do grrr, he takes no notice, I do run in between his legs to confuse him, he takes no notice, I flip him the paw, he takes no notice. I think we are going to have to raise a posse and sort him out. What do you think?
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In other news, this month has been a month of birthdays with both Mummy-my-mummy-xxx ™ and Daddy-my-daddy-xxx ™ reaching some ridiculous age. This combined with an easing of the corona-thingumy lockdown meant we went to another town and got to see my Hu-sis (and her Boyfriend) and my Hu-bro (and his lady friend). They did sit at a table in the garden and talk and laugh a lot while I chased a football, charged around, ate bits of crispy duck, jumped on everyone, and investigated EVERYTHING. I slept all the way home and most of the next day. More of such things please!
Oh yes, I can now wade up to my shoulders in the river, soon I will swim! One small step for dog kind etc etc…
Question? How many Cairn Terriers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Who cares, I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. And I do, every night, without fail, because I can…
Snore-snore, burp-burp, wag-wag, grr
p.s. please hashtag #ripleystail if commenting.
p.p.s. Please take a look at this new range while you are here, and you can be as toasty warm as I am: