Ripley's Tail: Dog Date May 2020 May 24, 2020 12:41 6 Comments
Dog Date: May 2020
General Sitch: Stuck in Lockdown
Specific Sitch: Lying on back, four legs pointed to ceiling, boffing
I am but a Cairn Terrier. Wait a minute, I AM Cairn Terrier. This is my tail.
It is hard being a red-brindle girl Cairn Terrier in a world inhabited by Hoomans. To explain, I am the dominant force in the universe, however, they control the means of distribution of snacks, treats and nom-noms. They are therefore grrr-worthy and I must remain aloof, whatever a loof is. But they are also Mummy-my-Mummy-xxx™ and Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx™, and I do love them. What is a small but mighty Terrier to do?
Our family here is completed by my older companion, Cairn Terrier Bella, and two other Hoomans. Bella is like 150 years old and a bit doddery. She is quite good company but doesn’t run around a lot, hasn’t got many teeth and is a bit deaf. Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx™ says she used to be a completely naughty Minnie the Minx which is, I suppose, a bit like saying that your granny was a right goer back in the day.
The other two are part-timers who come to visit. My Hoo-sis comes back from time to time and takes me for lovely long walks which is great and my Hoo-bro comes home to give me fighting lessons. I win of course and he sulks.
Today is sunny so they call it Sunday (is that how it works?) and I have a plan. It is cunning. All it needs is for me to bend time, space, the will of the Hoomans and Bella. Bella is the most difficult because she doesn’t have a clue what she is going to do most of the time anyway. I have designated today as Eat-only-Hooman-food-day. I have already had popcorn for breakfast (don’t ask). For lunch Mummy-my-Mummy-xxx™ and Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx™ are having a roast dinner. I am going to practice my best Princess Diana eyes on them and guilt them into saving lots of it for Bella and I for our din-dins. Mmmm how we will boff when we have had the beefs and cauliflower cheese and Yorkshire puds and taters! If there is any time left, then I can make space for the sausage that I just know is in the fridge. ’Tis a plan.
Now that I am awake it is time to patrol the garden for a while. These squirrels don’t bark at themselves you know!
Lick-lick, grr-grr, wag-wag, whatever.
p.s. please hashtag #ripleystail if commenting.