Ripley's Tail - Independence Day July 3, 2020 17:00 1 Comment
Dog Date: 4th July 2020
General Sitch: Undervalued and overgrown
Specific Sitch: lying around waiting for my American friends to give me a break and send me an Independence Day hotdog (no mustard or chilli, but I would give due consideration to a corn dog).
I am part Cairn Terrier, part ravenous wild beastie. Groom me somebody. This is my tail.
So I get it, I really do. A million years ago a bunch of people gained Independence from another bunch of people by shouting a lot and stuff. Every year now Will Smith marches out of the desert and some other bloke declares “this is our independence day” and everybody cheers. It’s a bit like when we are allowed out of corona-thingumy lockdown and we all run around a lot, although that is without hot dogs.
I should like to declare that today is my independence day, but I’m not allowed to. Mummy-my-mummy-xxx ™ says that I am way too scruffy at the moment to go out into the world without being mistaken for a Yak (Yak-yuk I say!). So I will have to be content to harrumph a lot and glare. One day I shall be free and will go charging across the plains of central Asia, leaping tall buildings and swimming mighty rivers before having a nap. Until then I will have to be content (they think, tee-hee-hee).
I would particularly like to thank Americans for worshipping me this month. Putting on a special parade all about me and my future break-away from the Mummy-my-mummy-xxx ™ and Daddy-my-daddy-xxx ™ world dominance sitch…
In other news, next week I am being taken to THAT place where I will be groomed. Personally I quite like the Yak-yuk look but I will admit that is is a bit warm in the summer time. So we go to visit Aunty Dawn who was my breeder. I do love Aunty Dawn and jump up and down a lot when I see her. She hand strips me. This makes me grrr a lot, especially when she reaches my lady bits and bum. At that point she sometimes even has to make me into Mrs Conehead so I can’t nip her.
Because I am now a poor, sad, lonely single dog (send sympathy cards and nom-noms via my agent) Mummy-my-mummy-xxx ™ and Daddy-my-daddy-xxx ™ are thinking about getting another puppy later this year. A boy Cairn, they say. They reckon it will chase my tail around for the next 15 years, I say that I need a new toy so bring it on! More news on this as I get it.
Happy Independence Day!
Grr-grr, snuffle-snuffle, woogle-woogle, wag
p.s. please hashtag #ripleystail if commenting.
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