Ripley's Tail - Year of the Rat - yay! June 2, 2020 08:04 1 Comment
Dog Date: June_01 2020
General Sitch: Stuck in rural Wales
Specific Sitch: Poised by the back door, waiting for it to be opened so I can run and chase and hunt and pounce before peaking too early and having another nap.
I am part Cairn Terrier, part Velociraptor. I like sausages. This is my tail.
2020 is the Chinese Year of the Rat, and I love it! I am thinking of dedicating my life to being a critter hunter. I’d get certified of course and have my logo on the side of the Mummy-my-Mummy-xxx™-mobile. I’m thinking “Miss Ripley’s Chase-and-Chomp Service”. Classy huh? As she is a bit rubbish at going fast and cornering Bella could be my sidekick, taking orders and giving stink-eye to all passing critters.
As well as sorting out the rural rat population I could take on other commissions. This week someone in the village lost something called a ferret. This is a picture of me with the sign, with details all blurred out to protect the innocent. Anyway, who ever thought to name a ferret Penny? I think a ferret is like a long thin rat, so that should be ok. Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx™ says that I am very fast and should have no problem with long rats.
I offered to help, but Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx™ said that they wanted it back in one piece for some reason. Our service could also be extended to the fat pigeon in our garden (flying rat), the squirrels (long-tailed climbing rats) and stray Water Buffalo (dirty great big rats with horns). I’m thinking payment by PawPal, in snacks and treats and nom-noms. If only I had opposable thumbs there could be a business plan.
I am currently in strict stick training with Daddy-my-Daddy-xxx™ when we go on long walks. This involves chasing and retrieving sticks, but also running away with the stick in my mouth AND trying to chomp it out of Hooman hands when he is picking it up. He says WORDS when I do this, and I do laugh and run away.
In other news I have released a trailer for my upcoming music release Cairnian Ratsody and this can be viewed on our Facebook page. The initial response has been good and I’m optimistic about a record deal at any moment.
Finally please spare a thought for Bella, or Miss Wonky as I call her behind her back. She is not very well and the Hoomans are doing their bestest to take care of her. She is attempting slump-and-glare tactics to get extra treats.
Be good. Actually don’t be good, run around naked and screaming. I do…
Lick-lick, grr-grr, wag-wag, you get the general picture
p.s. please hashtag #ripleystail if commenting.